just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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