note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
