we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize