His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
