i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
