i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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