the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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