the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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