i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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