we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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