so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
