Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
