I'm eating all of the evidence.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
