We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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