another moral hangover. fuck.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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