can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
