you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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