WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im part way to drunk.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
