I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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