I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
