I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize