I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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