he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
