Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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