..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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