ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
