the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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