My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm both gender and math confused
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
