this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
