WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
