I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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