U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
