Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
