The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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