Dual....:-)
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
