You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
