Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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