He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
