no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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