He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
