I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
