Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
