i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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