I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You smell like stripper and shame
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just found puke in my bra..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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