what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize