Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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