I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
