What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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