I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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