Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
