And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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