I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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