South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
