just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
