it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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