Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to make out with him forever
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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