shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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