I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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