We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
