their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
