We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I could fuck to npr.
Randomize
