3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
